Today, I’ve made a major scientific breakthrough. It’s amazing that noone’s thought of it before. I have discovered the ancient secrets of waffelology. Building on the age-old esoteric traditions of the Viking societies of the dark, mountainous Norwegian highlands, waffelology provides a path to strengthening your immune system, healing feelings of anomie and promoting Optimum Wellness™.

I’m truly amazed that I might be the first one to stumble upon the inner true mysteries of waffelology, but being preoccupied with the Health and Wellbeing of my Fellow Man and Woman, I’ve decided to share some of the science behind with you here, before I go on to publish it in peer-reviewed journals of waffelology.

If you want to learn more, I suggest you contact the Institute of Waffelology™, Oslo, where I’m Chief Scientific Supervisor. Contact details can be found here.

The theory behind

Waffelology™ is the science of stabilizing Qi (your life force) through Therapeutic Ingestion™ of healing substances with the shape, feel, taste and composition of waffels. Do not confuse this with ordinary waffel consumption, which can be detrimental to your Health and Wellness™ when done incorrectly!

The waffelology therapist will have intimate knowledge of the relationship between ingredients, preparation, quantity and condiments and the base elements’ quantum interactions with your Qi. To put it simply, during a waffelology therapy session by a Certified Waffelology Therapist (IW)™, he or she will supervise the therapeutic ingestion to ensure that irregular quantum fluctuations affecting vibrations of the Qi are reduced or eliminated, producing a healing sensation of Optimum Wellness. The effect of this is to generate a more harmonious Qi. Repeated treatments will over time increase your Health and Wellness™ through Qi Harmony™, thereby increasing your body’s potential to stave off most deceases.

Update: This increased potential could be conjectured under certain circumstances to have beneficial effects in preventing swine flu (AH1N1) that for some people might make waffelology safer than government-administered remedies or untested vaccines.

Indeed, the people of the Norwegian Highlands, where waffel consumption is particularly high, have been shown to live well into their 80s and 90s in very good and pure health! Conjecture by experts at the Institute of Waffelology™, Oslo, have indicated that these people have higher levels of Optimum Wellness™ and Qi Harmony™, linked through probabilistic methodology to the age-old application of the wisdom of Waffelology™.

Waffelology™ as a modern-day science has been pioneered by Christer Gulbrandsen, who holds a Master’s degree from the University of Oslo and has an extensive network of life-science experts to communiate with. He is also the founder, owner and Chief Scientific Supervisor of the Institute of Waffelology™, Oslo, and is the country’s first Certified Waffelologist (IW)™.

How to benefit?

If you want to experience the wonders of Waffelology, or if you want to become a Certified Waffelologist (IW)™, yourself, then do not hesistate to contact the Institute of Waffelology.

Price list:

  • 1,5 hr introductory session, where your Qi vibrations are mapped out and a first-time ingestion is applied: NOK 900,-
  • 1 hr follow-up session with a full Therapeutic Ingestion: NOK 750,-
  • 2 hr session on how to perform a home Therapeutic Ingestion (NB! Only applicable to yourself!!!): NOK 2 000,-
  • Training session 1 (Ingredients and Quantum Qi Theory™), Certified Waffelologist™ (IW) level I: 3 000,-
  • Training session 2 (Preparation and Quantum Qi Theory™), Certified Waffelologist™ (IW) level I: 3 000,-
  • Training session 3 (Condiments and Quantum Qi Theory™), Certified Waffelologist™ (IW) level I: 3 000,-
  • Training session 4 (Therapeutic Ingestion™), Certified Waffelologist™ (IW) level I: 3 000,-
  • Complete package, Certified Waffelologist™ level I: 10 000,- (special introductory offer for a limited time only)
  • Training sessions 1-4, Advanced theory, Certified Waffelologist™ (IW) level II: 2 000,- (per course)
  • Complete package, Certified Waffelologist™ level II: 5 000,- (special introductory offer for a limited time only)
  • Complete package, Certified Waffelologist™ level I + II: 14 000,- (special introductory offer for a limited time only)

THERE ARE A LIMITED NUMBER OF PLACES FOR EACH TRAINING SESSION. TO ENSURE YOUR PLACE ON EACH SESSION, SIGN UP QUICKLY FOR A COMPLETE PACKAGE!

What do you get from training sessions? You get a complete insight into the theory and tools of Waffelology™, appropriate for your level of consciousness. To reveal the secrets in full at once would blow your mind and could potentially dislocate your chakras at a string-theoretical level, and I have therefore to exercise supreme caution in dissemination.

Disclaimer

Waffelology is not intended to cure or prevent sickness or disease, although beneficial side-effects may occur. Please consult your regular physician before initiating a Waffelology Therapeutic Ingestion Treatment™, and follow his or her advice. The Institute of Waffelology™, Oslo, takes no responsibility for damages, injuries or illnesses that might occur from improper or unsupervised attempts at Therapeutic Ingestion Treatment™, or for failure to seek standard medical treatment.

If you buy into this or similar crap, you have dismally failed the Institute of Waffelology™, Oslo, gullibility test. Congratulations.